This One is for the Girls

Good morning!

It’s basically eight in the morning, and I don’t recall the last time I was awake (and fully rested) at this time. Perhaps one of my least favorite things about nineteen. Sleep is hard.

I was just looking at a few old pictures of myself, and I was curious about something. In about half the pictures I take, I’m wearing some sort of makeup. And I hate those pictures. Sometimes it’s just mascara and eyeliner, and other days I’ll put my whole face on. If I were to describe myself in two words, I would use 1) plain, and 2) granola. I’m not dirty, no, I just hate makeup. 

I refuse to be one of those women who is scared of letting someone see what I “really” look like, because I should always look like what I really look like. Unfortunately, that’s apparently not how society works. I’ve been told my whole life that beauty is pain.

Wax everything, because the hair we were born with is disgusting, and no one wants to look at it. Okay, so I’ve been waxing my eyebrows and “mustache” since I was fourteen. FOURTEEN.

Enhance the natural color of your eyes with these shades of eye shadow, because your eyes aren’t pretty enough without a “smokey” outline.

If you put bronzer on your cheekbones you’ll appear more delicate, older, and mature.

It wasn’t until I realized that I wear makeup for other people that I realized I actually like myself without it.

One hundred percent of the time, I feel prettier without makeup. (Sorry, mom) I learned at a young age that society will judge me in every facet of my existence, and I just had to be okay with it. There was no way that I could just feel okay with myself, because other people might not like me.

My mom helped me wax my eyebrows, because she was probably scared that I’d be made fun of in school. She taught me how to wear makeup so that I could make friends, and be pretty. I love her for that, but I’m sad that I had to teach myself how to be strong enough to realize that looks do not matter. 

Your body is borrowed, and it’s the one you’re going to have until the day you die. Take pride in it, and make your health a priority. Love yourself, because you pour more negative energy into yourself than you’ll ever pour into another human being. It is terrifying how mean we can be to our reflection in the mirror.

You don’t know how beautiful you look when you smile. You don’t get to see the way your eyes light up when you’re talking about your favorite book, or something that you’re absolutely passionate about. You only get to see the way you look at yourself in the mirror, and the pictures you take of yourself, or that others take of you.

Believe me when I say that you are beautiful. I don’t even know you, but if you have ever really smiled, or died of laughter, you are a beautiful person. You have created light in someone’s heart, and people fucking appreciate you. Don’t let yourself down by repeatedly knocking yourself over every chance you get to stand up.

Hehe, one time I put a full face of makeup on before work, because I kept thinking “I want to look pretty today.” Upon arriving at work, I stared at myself in the parking lot. I painted several colors onto my face so that I could enhance the way I really looked. What good does that do?

None.

I have learned to love myself. I fall in love with everything around me, and my heart melts when people notice things about my that don’t pertain to the way I look.

You’re smart. You’re lovely. You’re funny. You have a way with words. You are so nice. You’re strong. You are worth everything you could possibly want. Your heart is so big. You have a beautiful body, and you are a beautiful soul.

Fall in love with yourself, because it truly is what matters. Everything that you think about truly matters. Embrace yourself.

AF